


Demonic little nothings

by Keenir



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Undercover as a Couple, Wedding Planning, each chapter is separate, set during series 2's Winter Hiatus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9529070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: Dan and Maze undercover.





	1. Chapter 1

"Welcome to my party," Art Pyles told the two of them.  "Newlyweds?"

"We've known each other longer, and -"

"And figured why the hell not," Dan said, interrupting Maze.  "I'm Dan.  You must be Mr. Pyles."

A nod.  "I am, I am.  And you?" he asked Maze.

"Mazikeen," she said.

"That's a...unique name."

She looked down at him, and informed him flatly that "That's what happens when you're named by people named Sunshine and Rainbow."  As Dan and their host made small talk and the three of them moved further into the hillside house that was the site of this party, Maze knew it was well past too late to un-volunteer herself for this undercover mission.  _Just when I thought I was done agreeing to assist with whatever_ he _asks of me...Linda would enjoy analyzing that, certainly._

"We met," Maze said when Pyles asked it of her, "through work.  I may have broken a few hearts along the way." _Hearts.  Ribs.  Legs._

"Maze was always stunning," Dan said.

"And yet you still held a torch for your ex.  Exactly how hard was I supposed to rip your heart from your chest, before I could have you all to myself?" having peeked in Pyle's psych files - _he prefers 'em with some cracks in the relationship.  I can do that._

Pyles took the bait: "My heart bleeds, man.  Always that damnable ex, casts a frickin' long shadow, am I right or am I right?"

With a nod, "You know," Maze said.

"M-" Dan started to say.   "If my ex casts a shadow, then whats to say about yours, other than he blots out the sun."

"Dude, that's not cool," Pyles started to say.

"No, that's about right, actually," Maze said.

"Wow, just...wow," Pyles said, awestruck.  "All that, and you two are together.  Most people like that would've gone running back, tail between their legs to lick their ex's hand.  How are you two so not that?"

Dan and Maze looked at each other, and Dan smiled, to which Maze smiled back - and then she slapped Dan's ass and grabbed said butt.  "Unpredictability has an entertainment value," Maze murmured.

Trying to not look too startled, Dan nodded.  "Um, Pyles, do you mind if -"

"Art, please, call be Art," Pyles said.   "And you two take your time; I'll be over there, I think we can do business," and left them alone.

"Can I talk to you a second, sweetie?" Dan asked Maze.

"Lead on, snookums," Maze said, and let herself be led _-_ reminding herself again _undercover, human, enamoured, human, disguise -_ over to a corner of the balcony.  "What?" she asked, more normally once they were there.

"Snookums?"

 _Oh you'd be surprised what I've heard people say in the moments they aren't suffering as badly during their afterlives._ "I listen.  People say it," Maze said.

"And the hand?" Dan asked.

"Like I'd let you put your tongue down my throat.  I know where that thing's been.  Same reason I didn't put my tongue down your throat."

"Whatever.  Lets just get back, and get Pyles to agree to a deal - that way, we can arrest him, you get paid, and we both go back to our corners."

Maze pretended to be hurt, a facial expression at odds with the amused tone she used to ask Dan "You saying you don't like my company?"

"I'm not saying that," Dan said.  "I'm saying we haven't killed each other yet, so lets get this over and done with before we do."  Not sure what to make of Maze raising an eyebrow at that, Dan went back inside.

 _All right.  You think you could manage it..._ "Challenge accepted," Maze grinned.


	2. Wedding

"Are you okay?  You've been slightly distracted thus far in our meeting," the priest said to Maze.

"She thought she was going to burst into flames when I brought her here," Dan offered as an explanation.  _Dangers following a priest who specializes in weddings, so naturally I fall on my sword so Chloe doesn't have to get within a mile of this - because where she goes, Lucifer follows...and that's not a partnership I'm comfortable letting near talk of wedding bells.  Aaaand they retaliate by having me work with Maze.  Right._

"Not flames," Maze said, _and I won't bother tittering, bad enough I have to sound affectionate._

"If I can ask, miss," the priest asked, "in what faith were you brought up?"

Dan braced himself for her answering 'devil worshipper' or 'baccanalian' or something along those lines.

What Maze said was "I was always a God-fearing hellraiser."  _And I'd be impressed with Chloe more if she didn't keep suggesting I go on these assignments._

"I see.  We offer, if you would like, baptism for adults-"

"No," she replied, her voice as prickly and razor-edged as it could get.

The priest shrugged.  "So be it.  The two of you won't be the first interfaith marriage I've officiated over."

_Yay.  At what point are you going to so much as drop a hint that you want to talk to him about his witness statement, Dan?_

"We appreciate that, Padre," Dan said.  "I'd have preferred to get married by the same guy who baptized me, but, well, he wasn't as open-minded as you."

"We will all be judged one day," the priest said.

"Speaking of...  I, um..."  and Dan rested one hand on Maze's hand and - undercover or not, was both surprised and relieved that she didn't kick his butt for that - and asked her "Maze, dear, could I have a minute?"

Maze responded by resting one hand atop Dan's, squeezing - _people in love squeeze.  Just not as much as I'd like -_ and said, "This is one of those awkward guy things, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so.  I need to check about something, and -"

Standing up, "Its your soul, not mine," Maze said, "Padre," and left the two of them alone in the room.  She took up a position outside the door, silently hoping some troublemaker would come by, either to silence the priest or to rob the church.  _I'm not picky_.


End file.
